A Poem About Love

I know I don’t post on this blog anymore, but this was too good to keep to myself. A couple of nights ago, I was scrolling though old notes, journal entries and essays, reminiscing my high school life, for I’m all too quickly finding myself about to start my second year of college. I stumbled upon a poem I remember writing out of the abundance of my heart, and as I read the piece line by line, I began to think about weeping (I didn’t actually weep, because I was listening to EDM then, and weeping while listening to EDM is kind of weird).

Anyway, here’s the poem. It isn’t all that good, but it means a lot to me and helped me unearth what love really is. Hopefully it does the same for you.

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A Poem About Love

Love sees past my pride,
Love sees past my insecurity,
Love sees past all I want Love to see,
and all I don’t want Love to see.

Love has beautiful eyes, and with them Love looks into my innermost being, turning over tables and chairs, knocking down desks and drawers, opening closets and finding skeletons and cobwebs.

And then Love looks deeper,
and sees deeper.

Love finds me.
Love finds me, hiding as a needle in a haystack, and I find myself on my knees.
I know I’m too filthy to stand before Love so pure.

But Love chooses me.
Though I choose other things and chase other things,
Love chooses me and chases me.

Love embraces me, taking me as I am and stealing me away as He stole away my sin. Then Love never lets go.

Love wants me,
not for the reason that I have any gift to offer or incense to burn,
not for the reason that I stand atop a mountain I climbed up on my own,
not for the reason that I have tried to buy freedom with my words and works,
not for the reason that I am shackled in chains of gold and diamond,
not for the reason that I rot in a prison built in darkness,
and definitely not for the reason that I am trapped because I had once turned away from Love.

Love pulls me close, and I pull away.
Love pulls me close, and I pull away.
Love pulls me close, and whispers to my heart,
“You are Mine. I created you, purposed you, found you and bought you. You are Mine, and nothing will ever take me away from you.”

Love rescues me.
Love pulls me out of the pit and showers me with mercy,
then Love breathes life into my spirit once more.

Love pulls me close, and my resistance weakens.
Love? I deserve nothing of this. Not even a crumb.
I pulled away. Justice is Love abandoning me and forgetting me.

Love so pure deserves not the dirt of a filthy wretch.
Love so great deserves not the minusculety of an infinitesimal speck.
Love so strong deserves not the weakness of a feeble ant.

But Love wants me,
for reasons my heart cannot comprehend.

Love pulls me close, and I stand still.
Love pulls me close, and I come near.
Love pulls me close, and I rest in His arms and hear His heartbeat:
Grace.
Hope.
Joy.
Peace.
Love.
Love.
Love.
Love, Love, Love, Love, Love!

Oh, that I may sleep forever in Love’s sweet embrace! Nothing ever shall compare. No height nor depth in all the heavens ever shall compare to the vastness of the Love that has found me.

Oh, how He Loves! I am overwhelmed. Oh, how He Loves.

Now as I am Loved since forever and for forever,
Love is mine to keep and treasure,
unconquerable even by death,
unstoppable even by time.

Love is mine,
and I am His.

Thank You, Jesus.

Skating and the New Year (Truth Thursdays)

Voices from every direction tickled my ears, and cool winds tickled my armpits since I wasn’t wearing a jacket. Camp John Hay in the mid-afternoon of Christmas day is loud, crowded and chilly. The sky was a cheerful blue, and you could smell the yuletide in the air despite the pungent horseback riding trail nearby. My family and I had just finished eating a couple Shakey’s pizzas, and we were ready to do what we do on every family trip: skate.

A few minutes later, my siblings and I were at a quiet spot by the golf course with our helmets on, cruising at a steady 20 kph and enjoying the fresh breeze. Dad was playing the guitar by the van, and mom was chatting with a friend. The afternoon couldn’t have gotten any more relaxing. Ryan and I tried ripping the golf carts’ path, which had steep slopes, but a security guard caught us and we had to stop. A little after that, the sun said goodbye and sank beneath the horizon, and we headed to Brothers’ Burger to have dinner.

If we’re close, you’ll know that longboarding is my thing. I may not be great at it, but I love taking my board places and cruising through empty roads around the country. Some don’t consider it a sport, but I sure get a good chunk of exercise from it. There are many disciplines to explore in longboarding. There’s downhill skating, which is getting from the top to the bottom of a mountain road as fast as possible (usually at speeds of 70-80 kph) by using drifts and slides to lose speed and aerodynamic tucks to gain speed. To me, that’s pretty boring. But there’s also LDP, tech, freeride, and the safest discipline: freestyle, where you dance your feet around the board and do flip tricks while riding at slow speeds.

Here’s the point of all this longboarding talk: I’ve corrected nearly every skating trick I flopped by simply looking forward. Be that a nose manual or a peter pan, all I had to do was stop looking at my feet and focus my eyes on what was ahead of me. That would help a ton in most cases.

This new year, I’m resolving to look forward and keep moving forward. There’s a lot to learn from the past, but the past never defines a person. It only builds him. Enough of old mistakes and moldy accomplishments; it’s time to move on, let go, and focus on the new. Seizing the day means letting it go once it turns into a yesterday.

I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead.
(Philippians 3:13)

I’m excited for what lies ahead.

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Truth Thursdays exists to connect people through writing. To initiate something honest, thoughtful and meaningful. If you want to know more about Truth Thursdays and how to be a part of it, read here. Click here to view this week’s prompt.

Last Week’s Random Social Experiment

DM games are friendly little ploys some teenagers on Twitter made up to get attention or to find an excuse to confess something juicy to another teenager. You’ve probably come across a tweet that looked like this: “DM me something you’ve always wanted to say or even something random. But the only rule is I can’t reply!” Or this: “DM me a number from 1-500 & ill tell you how i feel about you in a tweet without anyone knowing…”

If you’re a student, you’ve probably played along even. I tried playing it myself, but a little differently. I took this version of the game: “Let’s reverse the DM game. Favorite this tweet and I’ll DM you something I’ve always wanted to tell you. Don’t reply.” Since I was feeling a little adventurous, I favorited the tweets of–you guessed it–random people I didn’t know.

Below is a picture of my favorites out of 40 responses.

I Don’t Like Balanced Relationships

Whenever a conversation between me and Davo starts, you can always expect that there will be, at the very least, a couple of comments on relationships. I don’t think I discuss relationships more often with anyone else. One day, I was reflecting and spontaneously sent him this string of messages. I guess this counts as a freeflow post.

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I don’t think I can live with a balanced relationship.

There absolutely has to be some sort of imbalance for me.

Pwedeng mas extroverted siya and she always gets me to go out, or ako yung mas extroverted and I lead her by the hand laughing through the forest into sunset beach.

Or she’s super smart in world history, and me in art theory, and so we teach each other and enhance each others’ learning experiences.

Or she sucks at skating, but I get her to learn; and I don’t like dancing, but she teaches me and I end up enjoying.

If we’re both into the same things and have the same expertise I don’t think there’d be any excitement. There’s gotta be some sort of disparity in that the tension is to close the distance, and in the process, one changes the other.

Love that doesn’t change the one being loved isn’t real enough.

How Time Is Wasted

If there’s one thing I’m always conscious about, it’s time. I’m always thinking about my day’s schedule, down to minute-by-minute breakdowns of the hour. I’ve made it a habit to structure my time. If I end up doing something irresponsible with it, say, playing QuizUp when I’m supposed to be working on a paper, it only means I’m willingly and knowingly wasting my time. I may be careless sometimes with my algebra or my writing (for those of you who spotted this post published even though it was still in progress.. sorry hehe), but I’m never careless with my time.

I’ve noticed that time is wasted in fragments. Time is wasted in short tasks that you compromise to do “just one more” of. You think that checking your Twitter will just take a minute, then you stumble upon an interesting conversation or a funny account and decide to further investigate. Before you know it, you’ve spent half an hour on unproductive pishposh.

I wasted hours on 9GAG this way. Tumblr has a similar effect. But I think that nowadays, our Exhibit A is Vine. Vines rule at burning your time away without you noticing. These five-second clips may be minuscule moments in time, but if the entertainment and humor hook you, you’ll soon find yourself having watched five, ten, twenty, fifty different Vines, and saying, “Man, it happened again.” Precious homework time is flushed down the toilet.

It sucks, but that’s the way the world works these days. It likes to reel you in slowly and subtly.

Lessons from Nine Years of Blogging

I’ve been blogging since I was nine. I just turned 18. That means I’ve been blogging for about nine years now. Click here to visit my very first blog. Since then, I’ve been a blogging nomad. I’ve had two other blogs on Blogspot, one on Multiply, four on Tumblr, and two on WordPress, including this one. Three of these are anonymous, and three are still active. I will leave it up to you to scour the internet for these blogs if you wish.

I’ve learned two things from my blogging experience.

1. It’s good to always be producing.

…which means my blogging experience hasn’t exactly been good these past few months. I’ve been very inconsistent lately. But other times, especially the first few months this blog was alive, I would post twice a week.

At least I can say that my semi-regular writing has made me better and better at writing. Talents are like muscles. They need regular exercise to grow. One big workout won’t cut it; progress comes gradually. That’s why if you have a passion, keep practicing it.

If you plan to write a bestselling novel in the future, then where’s your thousand words a day? If you want to be in the national football team someday, are you training and playing with other athletes? If you want to be the next Picasso or the next Afremov, are you painting as often as you can?

Don’t just be chucking out junk for your portfolio, but don’t get too meticulous that you strive for perfection in every piece (or practice session) either. Just make something decent. And consistently. After all, doing is the best way to learn. Later on, it’ll pay off. Case in point: Nowadays, I delight at the thought of writing papers for school. I’ve grown to love the art, and doing it for credit in school isn’t at all a stress. Plus, I’m not half bad at it.

2. Know when to follow through and when to quit.

I have several drafts lying around my WordPress account. Just ideas I once thought perfect for a blog, then trashed after six or seven sentences of writing. I would return to these drafts every now and then, but ultimately, only about one in five sees the light of day. This is the case for most of my blogs, past and present.

Continuously producing is awesome, but knowing when to give up on an idea is key to efficiency. No, you’re not trashing the idea or stamping it with a big red “FAIL”. You’re just scratching it off and telling yourself that though the concept was good, some technicals just didn’t run well with the cogs. Then you can put that idea to rest and pursue a new one.

Sometimes, though, the times when you feel like giving up on idea most are the best times to fight for it. Maybe you’re just exhausted or stressed, but if the idea in itself looks great (I didn’t say flawless), then persevere. Some of my most viewed posts I wrote when I felt like tossing them. That’s not to say that I have tons of readers, but you get the point. Keep moving on. (#np) At least until you run into a wall you can’t bulldoze through. If you keep going until you really, really, really can’t, you’ll soon find yourself in beautiful places.

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P.S. I just might be transferring to Medium soon. We’ll see though.

3 Things I Learned in My First Year of College

Entering a new chapter of your life is never dull. The reason it’s called a new chapter is because something big has changed, and you have to deal with that change. This past semester has been a big transition for me, as I had to start over and feel like fresh meat again.

Being a college freshie is exciting. Everything’s different. Your schedule varies, your classmates are different each period, you have to hop from classroom to classroom, and the workload comes in new formats. Suddenly everyone’s not dressed in uniform anymore, and the rigid high school structure is replaced by the freedom of college. It was a season of adjustment and learning, and I encountered lots of nuggets of wisdom along the way. Here are three.

1. Put a premium on relationships.

Life is all about relationships. If you’re not constantly putting a premium on relationships, life will easily get dull and difficult. Making new friends, as well as networking at different events and venues, will connect you to people who’ll be able to help you out later on.

When it comes to talking to people wiser and more skilled than you in your field, don’t be intimidated. In fact, be thankful for the opportunity to learn. Talk to them and get them to impart some of their knowledge to you. Ask loads of questions. Make the most out of the encounter. And if possible, get a mentor. Personal counseling from someone much more experienced than you are will help you grow more than you think.

2. Learn to say no.

Everyone has 24 hours in a day. The secret to success is using these hours wisely. One helpful tip when doing this is to list down your priorities and values. Some things are more important than others. Once you know what’s really important to you, you’ll know which tasks to spend more time and energy on and which tasks to scrap, at least for the meantime.

Often, it can be wasteful to YOLO your time. People like me often fall into what’s called “reactionary work flow”. This is when you’re doing something, but then another task suddenly pops up, so you try to accomplish both tasks simultaneously. Your workflow ends up based on impulses and urgencies, and not so much on the things that can be really important. It’s best to know what things to say no to, so you give more energy to fewer tasks.

3. Don’t be afraid to fail.

The most important thing I’ve learned this season is probably this: Never EVER on any occasion be afraid to fail. Just imagine all the things you can do if you get rid of the fear that hinders you. Try new things, aim high, and seize the day. If you feel like trying out for varsity, go ahead. If you wanna start a band, by all means. If you wanna build a business, don’t delay.

If you fail, fail fast and learn from it. As Ms. Frizzle from the Magic School Bus says, “Take chances. Make mistakes. Get messy!” Failure is an even greater opportunity to learn than success. Don’t worry about failing beyond recovery; if you devote your plans to God, he promises to always pick you up when you fall.

Increments

Today’s fast-paced world calls for fast-paced solutions to problems big and small. Now you can buy something online in the morning and have it at your doorstep by teatime. Instant-charging technology is on its way to the market, and those who know about it are psyched. This is why get-rich-quick schemes and overnight success articles are so popular. People want to gain without pain. We don’t have the time to do all the tedious dirty work it supposedly takes to reach a goal, so we find ways to “work smart” and skip as many steps as possible.

(On a sidenote, I realized that very few people like reading long blog posts these days. I think I’ll start cutting down on my word count.)

Now I have nothing against working smart, but I think that working hard is just as important as working smart. And while I don’t deny the power of a big break, I believe that breakthrough comes with a certain amount of effort. Success is really the result of many stressful all-nighters, long days, and tiresome, tedious dirty work.

Life is an accumulation of numerous tiny increments. Barely ever is it a one-time-big-time thing where you come to this crossroads, forced to decide on a path that will forever change your life, and then suddenly find yourself at your desired destination. Life is lived one step at a time.

We’ve all heard about Jordan getting cut from his high school basketball team. Even he had to work hard to become the greatest basketball player of all time. Sheer genius doesn’t get you far either. Mozart may have been a prodigy, but he still had to train hard for many long hours each day. In fact, it actually took him ten years of intense practice from the day he started making music before he started producing what many critics would claim to be his best works.

What does this mean for us? It means that if we want to succeed at anything, we need to invest time and effort into it consistently, regularly and with perseverance. If I trained at football only once a month, even if I trained for hours on end, I wouldn’t end up really good, would I? Conversely, if I spent just fifteen minutes a day reading a book on business, which is just about the amount of time I waste checking Twitter and Instagram after lunch, I’d finish the book eventually and have learned a lot. (I think I’d rather know interesting new things on a topic I really like than have knowledge on where you ate lunch a few days ago.)

Things don’t happen overnight. Greatness comes gradually. Progress may be slow sometimes, but one day you’ll look back and realize that you’ve gone a long way.

Broken Soft (Poem)

broken soft

she pockets all the stars in reverence
beneath the gold horizon peeks the sun
the moon, a silver pearl, seen through a lens
as evening fades to waken everyone

she showcased to me all the splendor of
the sky when colors danced across the sea
an ocean vast and wide, waves smooth and rough
suspended in the spaces over me

she took me on adventures near and far
and gifted me with love and dreams and grace
but all my hope became a falling star
when suddenly she left without a trace

when time, as always, signed the season’s end
my heart was broken soft, never to mend

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Truth Thursdays exists to connect people through writing. To initiate something honest, thoughtful and meaningful. If you want to know more about Truth Thursdays and how to be a part of it, read here.

Why My Friend Is Headed in the Right Direction

Recently, I’ve been hanging out with a good friend of mine who’s taking up Computer Science in college and is neck-deep in what he calls “technopreneurship”. It means exactly what it sounds like: entrepreneurship from a technological perspective. David defines it a little more profoundly: “Technopreneurship is a combination of the entrepreneurial spirit [and] today’s technologies to help solve people’s everyday problems.” That means apps, programs, gadgets and other similar stuff. He talks about it all the time, and I’m starting to get a little interested. David was delighted that I seemed to like what may seem to be his eventual career path. He’s been throwing articles at me and suggesting books for me to read. I even went with him once to a seminar on the topic. On a Saturday morning. Like I said, he’s neck-deep in the stuff. David’s just waiting to get out of college so he can plunge his head in, too.

He’s convinced me that technopreneurship is one of the newly-paved roads that roll smoothly up into career success, especially with today’s highly technology-based culture and its exponential growth and development in the past few years. It’s pretty fun, it pays well (if played well), and it’s fulfilling. David says that the whole point of his getting into technopreneurship is to help solve people’s problems. He’s “searching for that itch in the world that [he] can solve.”

With that, David definitely has the Three P’s down, which is my personal take on the Hedgehog Principle. That is, passion, proficiency and profit. He loves what he does and what he envisions himself doing in the next few years. It’s something he’s more than willing to pursue, even if it means huge sacrifice on his part. He’s also one of the more tech-savvy guys I’ve met in my lifetime. He has the skill, and he almost has the degree to prove it. Third, technopreneurship, as I mentioned earlier, has big bucks waiting at the end of the rainbow and will definitely reward those who take on the challenge willingly and responsibly.

When it comes to choosing what you want to do for a living (which has constantly been on my mind ever since I got into college), I’ve found that these Three P’s are a good strainer to filter all your options through. So says the businessmen I’ve counseled. If you’re not passionate about what you do, you’re not gonna find fulfillment in the thing you supposedly do five days a week all the way until you retire, and that’s just sad. If you’re not proficient in that field, you’re gonna suck and probably get fired or something like that. Without any skills, you won’t be of much help to anybody. Lastly, if you won’t be making any profit from your work, even if you’re genuinely passionate about it, you’re gonna starve. Money still matters, folks.

David’s in Malaysia right now to attend the 4th Global Entrepreneurship Summit as well as a couple of other events along the same line. He won the trip, all expenses paid, after entering an entrepreneurship contest. I’m happy for him. He knows what he wants and why. It looks like he’s pretty much headed in the right direction, at least for the time being.